


#200

by akhikaru



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Community: kitto_slutparty, Diary/Journal, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Multi, Penis In Vagina Sex, Post-Break Up, Sex, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2019-05-21 20:10:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14922057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akhikaru/pseuds/akhikaru
Summary: Sometimes Jun wishes he wasn't keeping a count.





	#200

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lilly0](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly0/gifts).



> Written for Kitto Slut Party 2016.
> 
> Inspired (the journal part) by "Love in the Time of Cholera", a novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Didn't keep the part where the guy making the journal was a creep. The main pairing is Jun/Sho, but I tagged the others to warn you that they will make an appearance at some point, even if it's just for one scene/a few scenes. Sex scenes aren't very detailed (most of them aren't at least), but the entire story revolves around sex so... yeah.

1

It's a cold December night. Everyone went back home for the holidays, but Jun decided to stay in the small apartment where he has been living since he started college, almost two years ago. His mother and father aren't very happy to hear about that.

"I have to keep studying," Jun says on the phone, pushing senpai away with his free hand and doing his best to keep his laughter under control. Senpai found his ticklish spot earlier that afternoon, when the movies they were watching stopped being interesting—or at least became less interesting than exploring what was under each other's clothes. The first time Jun squirmed under his touch, senpai looked surprised. Jun almost apologized for breaking their kiss like that, but senpai didn't really mind. Apparently, he enjoyed tickling almost as much as kissing.

It isn't the first time they make out. They usually keep it short, afraid that Jun's roommate will return and catch them in the act. Being gay isn't taboo among people of their own age, but they value their privacy a lot. Besides, if word gets out that senpai is gay, his family will never let him hear the end of it. Jun doesn't want to be the cause of yet another fight between senpai and his parents, they already argue often enough as it is.

When Jun's roommate announced that he would be going back to his hometown in Hokkaido during the holidays, senpai suddenly changed his mind about visiting his own family. "I won't be missing much anyway," he said with a sad expression. "I'm persona non grata among my relatives since I dyed my hair and got two piercings."

Senpai's family is strange: they never seem to be satisfied, no matter how good senpai's grades are. Jun wishes he could help. He told senpai so the day they talked about it.

"You can," senpai said. Jun bit his lip as senpai continued kissing his neck, one hand tangled in Jun's hair and the other one tugging at Jun's shirt's collar to expose more skin. "Stay with me," senpai whispered against Jun's skin. Senpai looked so sad that Jun couldn't refuse.

As soon as Jun's roommate left, carrying a suitcase bigger than himself, senpai came in. Jun hadn't even called to inform his parents that he wouldn't be going home—senpai chided Jun about it for a while until Jun brought a blanket and rested his head on senpai's shoulder. Cuddling always got senpai in a good mood. Sometimes it worked _too_ well.

"Yes, I'm sorry, mother." Jun clasps a hand over his mouth, trying not to moan as senpai slips a hand inside his jeans, caressing his half-hard cock over the fabric of his boxers. "I will call you every day, I promise," Jun continues, glaring over his shoulder at senpai who only chuckles in response.

Once Jun hangs up, he turns around and shoves senpai to his bed. "What the heck? I was talking to my mom!"

"You said she knows you like guys," senpai replies, giving Jun his most innocent look.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean that I want her to hear us!"

Senpai pouts at Jun as he lies down on Jun's bed, not even trying to hide the bulge forming in his pants. "Come here," he says, patting the space next to him.

Jun climbs on the bed and sits with his back against the headboard. Senpai shifts his position to lay his head on Jun's lap. Jun plays with senpai's hair for a while, until senpai pushes himself up and grabs Jun's face to mash their lips again.

Kissing senpai has always made Jun feel special. It feels as though nobody else existed at that moment, just the two of them. Senpai's tongue curls around his, caressing it, playing and tangling leisurely. Jun gasps for air, and barely has time to take a breath before senpai catches his lips again.

Jun knows exactly what is coming. Senpai had whispered it in his ear earlier: "I want to make love to you." Jun is excited, of course, but he's so nervous that he doesn't know if he'll be able to do it. He has no prior experience, and even though senpai is only a year and a half older—which means that he can't be _that_ experienced when it comes to sex either—Jun hopes that he won't be a disappointment in bed. Jun has fantasized about this moment for so long. It _must_ be perfect.

"S-Senpai…" Jun moans as senpai pulls down his pants. "Ah… senpai…"

"Stop calling me that, Jun. How many times do I have to say it?"

Jun giggles and kisses senpai's frown. "Then what should I call you? Sakurai-kun?"

"Just call me Sho."

Heat spreads in Jun's cheeks and neck. "Sho," he says. The syllable rolls off his tongue like sweet honey.

"Yes…" Senpai—no, _Sho_ resumes his kisses. He flips them over, trapping Jun under his body. He quickly retrieves something from the night table and makes Jun spread his legs. Once he frees Jun from his underwear, he slicks his fingers with lubricant.

Jun squirms when the first finger pokes between his buttocks. Sho laughs and kisses Jun's forehead. "Relax," he says in Jun's ear.

And relax Jun does. He takes a deep breath while the first finger enters him. It's a strange sensation, to have Sho's index moving inside him. Then the finger touches a spot that makes him cry out loud in pleasure.

"Ah," Sho's face lights up. A smirk forms on his lips as he, without warning, taps on the spot again, and again, and again.

A second finger enters Jun shortly after, then the third one and the fourth one. Sho has already unzipped his jeans and is stroking himself lazily. He is so calm and controlled, unlike Jun who keeps screaming and grabbing the bed sheets while Sho's fingers continue going in and out of him.

"Whoa, don't you dare to come yet!" Sho smacks Jun's side.

Jun glares at him, face completely flushed. He wishes he could slap that smug expression off Sho's face, but that would mean that Sho's fingers would stop, and he's being fucked so deliciously that he doesn't want that to end. Sadly, Sho removes his fingers right away and stands up.

Before Jun can voice his protests, Sho finishes undressing and rolls a condom on his—definitely larger and thicker than Jun expected—erected penis. He slicks himself up with some lube and kneels between Jun's legs. He reaches for a pillow, makes Jun raise his hips to place it below him, and then aligns their bodies.

"It will hurt a little," Sho says. "Tell me if it's too much, okay?"

In spite of all the time they spent during the preparation, Jun still feels some pain once Sho is fully sheathed inside him. Sho kisses him tenderly, not moving at all while Jun gets used to it. "Sho…" Jun whines. He grabs Sho's butt and tries to push him forwards.

Taking that as his cue to go on, Sho rolls his hips experimentally. Jun spreads his legs wider, nails digging into Sho's arms as Sho picks up his pace. He tries to meet Sho's thrusts, rocking his body against Sho's. They both moan when Sho is able to go deeper, hitting that spot inside Jun that makes him see stars.

"You are so beautiful… so wonderful…" Sho says in Jun's ear, his tone dropping lower than usual—it sends shivers down Jun's spine. Sweet nothings continued rolling off Sho's tongue, words of praise that boost Jun's self-confidence and make him feel hornier by the minute. Jun clenches around Sho, eliciting a groan from him. He grins in satisfaction when Sho lifts one of his legs to change the angle, his vision going blurred at the edges as their bodies continue moving in synchrony.

Jun pulls Sho down for a kiss. He can feel the heat pooling in his groin, the pleasure getting so intense that it's almost unbearable. Sho is probably close as well if the erratic way he's moving is any sign. They kiss with desperation, tongues battling as they get closer to the climax.

It is Jun who comes first, spurting semen on his own stomach. He shudders and screams, involuntarily clenching around Sho. Some seconds later, after a succession of quick thrusts, Sho has his own release. He pulls out right away, takes off the semen-filled condom and rushes to the bathroom to throw it in the trash.

Jun lies on his bed grinning, staring at the ceiling as he waits for Sho's return. He only realizes Sho is back when he feels a wet towel wiping his abdomen.

"Sleep," Sho says. He pecks Jun's lips and lies next to him, wrapping an arm around Jun's waist.  
The last thing Jun sees before falling asleep is Sho staring at him with an adoring look on his face.

 

2

When Jun wakes up, his head is on Sho's chest. Sunlight is peeking from the closed curtains. It's probably cold outside though since it snowed so much last night.

This is his first time waking up next to Sho.

"Good morning," Sho greets Jun with a smile, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

"Good m—"

Sho shuts him up with a kiss. Jun laughs when he notices that Sho is already hard. He wraps his legs around Sho's waist and closes his eyes, sighing happily while Sho leaves a trail of wet kisses all over his chest.

Jun's mind goes blank once Sho wraps his lips around his shaft.

 

3

They are making lunch together. Sho is a disaster in the kitchen. He almost cut his own finger trying to slice an onion.

"No wonder you visit me so often!" Jun laughs.

Sho pouts at him. "I don't come here only because of the food!"

"Then why?"

A pair of arms circle around Jun. "You know why," Sho says. He kisses Jun's nape, then his shoulder and the side of his neck.

Jun continues cooking, pretending to be unaffected by Sho's caresses. He gasps when Sho suddenly turns him around to catch his lips in a passionate kiss.

Somehow, they manage to get to the other side of the kitchen. Jun ends up bent over the kitchen's table, his pants pooling at his feet. His hips will probably have bruises where his skin made contact with the sharp edges of the table. His body is sore, yet he is absolutely content. When Sho finally lets him go, he rushes to check the stove.

The food is ruined. Jun elbows Sho hard in his ribs, sending him into a peal of laughter.

They order soba.

 

4

There is a blizzard the next day. Jun thought it would be nice to cuddle on the couch the whole night, sipping hot chocolate and just talking until they fell asleep.

Sho had other uses in mind for the couch though.

They do have hot chocolate afterwards.

 

5

"Are you always this horny?" Jun bursts out laughing as Sho slams him against the wall, barely seconds after they get back to the apartment. They went out for lunch since they had woken up too late to cook. 

"Shut up!" Sho groans.

Doing it standing isn't as uncomfortable as Jun thought it would be.

 

10

First day of the year.

Jun and Sho go to the local shrine to say their prayers, just like everyone else. They meet some of Sho's friends there and decide to stick around for a while.

"New boyfriend?" One of the guys asks Sho with a smirk.

Knowing how secretive Sho is, Jun expects him to deny it. He wouldn't mind at all. He plans to give Sho as much time as he needs to get used to the idea of them being more than friends. It seems Sho doesn't need that much time though.

"Yes," Sho says, holding Jun's hand tight. He is blushing, probably feeling a bit embarrassed by saying it out loud.

"About damn time," Sho's friend says and pats Sho's back. "He's pretty."

The sun is out by the time they decide to go back to Jun's apartment. Sho is still holding Jun's hand, their gloved fingers intertwined. People give them weird looks, but neither of them cares.

Sho is uncharacteristically silent. "What's wrong?" Jun asks him once they get home.

"It's… it's about earlier." Sho is gnawing on his lower lip. "When the guys asked about you, and I… I called you my boyfriend."

"I heard you." Jun smiles. "What about it?"

Sho blushes to the tip of his ears—second time in less than twenty-four hours, that's rare! "It's just that we never talked about it, and I wondered if you are okay with that."

Jun hums. "How about I show you?"

Sho tilts his head in question, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips forming a pout. "What do you—" He melts in Jun's arms as he is dragged to the couch between feverish kisses.

"What do you think?" Jun whispers on Sho's lips. He receives a low groan in response.

Pieces of clothing are discarded one by one, until they are pressed against each other, panting and moaning in pleasure as they rub their erections together. They come almost simultaneously, calling each other's name.

Sho's eyes are glassy. He closes them as their foreheads touch. "Thank you," he says.

 

11

Well, Jun couldn't exactly resist making love to Sho again after that.

His first time topping. He didn't think it'd happen so soon, but Sho was so emotional and insisted so much on it…

Who was Jun to say no?

 

15

They haven't seen each other too much during the first two weeks after classes started again. Like many other students in their senior year, Sho is dealing with a lot of pressure at the moment. He has already secured a job with a fairly good salary in a medium-sized economic consulting firm—Sho's father nearly burst a vein in anger when Sho informed the family that he wouldn't be joining his grandparents' business like he 'was supposed to'.

Jun feels proud of him for not taking the easy way out and just doing what his parents wanted. Sho is such a dedicated man, and Jun is certain that he will do excellently in any job he chooses. What Jun doesn't like is when Sho starts neglecting himself because of all the 'important things' he has to do.

"Sho-kun, come to bed." Jun sighs, watching Sho still typing frantically in his laptop. It's way past midnight and on a Saturday night no less. Jun had expected they could spend some time together at last, but he ended up lying on the couch alone while Sho continued doing his research.

"Later," Sho grumbles.

That's an unacceptable reply. Jun knows that Sho hasn't slept much during the last few days. He has gotten texts from Sho at odd hours, and the dark circles under Sho's eyes keep getting bigger and bigger every time they meet. There has to be a way to lure him into bed!

He does the only thing he can think of at the moment.

"Sho-kun…"

Sho slams his hands on the desk. He stands up angrily and turns towards Jun with a furious expression. He goes wide-eyed and gapes like a fish out of the water when he finds Jun undressing.

Jun smirks and throws his underwear in Sho's direction. He winks at Sho and walks back to the room, swaying his hips sensually. He knows he has won when he hears Sho's footsteps following him. He laughs when Sho scoops him up and twirls with him around the room for a bit before throwing him on the bed.

"You…" Sho shakes his head, crawling on the bed.

Jun bats his eyelashes innocently at him and then splays his arms and legs.

Sho doesn't leave the bed for hours.

 

19

Sho dyed his hair dark brown. "I need to look presentable on my graduation day, Jun. And I'll start working soon anyway. Can't go to the office with my hair like that!"

It isn't that Jun doesn't like the change, but he will miss Sho's blonde hair. He will also miss the ear piercing, which is now on top of the bathroom's counter as Sho examines his appearance in the mirror.

"You look hot," Jun says, wrapping his arms around Sho's waist. He takes advantage of the position to lift Sho's t-shirt. "This one is staying, right?" he says, poking Sho's belly button piercing.

"Stop that!" Sho swats Jun's hands away, barely containing his laughter. "It tickles."

Jun arches an eyebrow at him. "Oh, really?"

Sensing what Jun is about to do, Sho sprints out of the bathroom towards his bedroom. Not that it will change a thing.

Jun manages to get in before Sho closes the door. He tackles Sho to the bed and pins Sho's arms above Sho's head with one hand while he sneaks the other one under Sho's t-shirt. Sho squirms when Jun pokes his belly button again.

"You know, under some jurisdictions this can be qualified as sexual assault," Sho says.

Jun laughs. "Really?" he asks as he lifts Sho's t-shirt to fully expose his abdomen.

Sho nods. "You could even go to jail."

"All for touching a belly button?"

"Yes."

Jun hums. "And what if I use my tongue for that? Still a crime?" He frees Sho's arms to unzip Sho's jeans and pull them down. Then he leans, not breaking eye contact as he sticks out his tongue and swirls it around Sho's belly button.

Sho giggles and runs a hand through Jun's hair. "You really love that piercing, don't you?"

He is reduced to a moaning mess when Jun decides he has had enough of Sho's belly button and switches to Sho's cock.

 

20

It's the end of March. Sho's graduation day.

Jun couldn't attend the ceremony, but he made sure to be on time to wait for Sho outside. He arrives right when Sho is coming out, a diploma in his hand and a weak smile on his face. Unlike his classmates, who are cheering and hurrying to party with their friends, Sho looks as if he had just come out of a funeral.

"What happened?" Jun asks.

Sho doesn't say anything. He merely grabs Jun's hand and starts walking.

"Where are we going?"

Silence.

Frustrated with the lack of response, Jun wrenches himself free from Sho's grip. "If you aren't going to talk to me, then I'll take my leave," he threatens.

Silence.

Jun clicks his tongue. He is annoyed, but at the same time he can't really leave Sho alone—he is too worried. Did anything bad happen? With a sigh, he grabs Sho by his shoulders. "Tell me anything, please."

Sho lowers his head. "My parents disowned me."

Jun's eyes widen. "What?"

"I was notified today, right before my graduation," Sho continues. "I suspected something was amiss when my father's attorney came to see me, and then he took out some papers from a briefcase and showed me."

Behind the blue folder containing Sho's diploma, there is another one which Jun hadn't seen before. Sho hands it to Jun and motions for him to open it. "Along with the certificate informing me that I am not to inherit a yen from my parents' assets, there's a restraining order. I can't ever set a foot in any of the Sakurai family's properties ever again or contact my parents and siblings."

"Eh? They can't do that!"

Sho chuckles bitterly. "They already _did_ , Jun. This paper here says so!" he says, raising his tone. "I even have to write my last name differently from now on, can you believe it?"

Indeed, one of the clauses in the certificate states that Sho can no longer write his last name with the same kanji the other family members did. The first kanji of his name was replaced by one that has the same reading. While Sho does no longer have inheritance rights over anything his parents' owned, he will receive the money set by his grandparents in a trust fund since his birth—the clauses established that Sho would get it directly upon his university graduation. At least Sho won't be completely destitute; he could easily buy himself a big house in any wealthy area of Tokyo with the amount he is to receive.

But Jun knows that Sho has never cared much about money.

"I had promised Shu that we would go to the aquarium together," Sho mumbles, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. "And Mai told me that if I didn't join her for a picnic in Ueno park this year when the cherry blossoms are in bloom, she would never forgive me. I couldn't go last year after all since I was so busy…"

What is Jun supposed to do? What can he say to make things better? Sho has just been abandoned by his family, on his graduation day. He won't see his little brother and sister again, and Jun knows just how much Sho loves them.

There's no way Jun will let Sho stay sad on such a special day though. It's Sho's graduation! He's supposed to be celebrating, not crying!

Jun pulls Sho into a hug and kisses his temple. "It's going to be okay," he says, even though he feels like a liar. He does hope it will be okay, but he has no idea of how to contribute to that. "I'm with you, Sho-kun. I won't leave you alone, _ever_."

"Promise?" Sho's voice wavers.

"I promise."

It's an irresponsible thing to say. They have known each other for a year and a half, and they have dated during barely three months. Promising to never leave Sho alone are big words; Jun hopes he will be able to keep them.

Sho cups Jun's face and kisses him, for once not minding if people see them. "I love you," he says on Jun's lips. "You are all I have now," he adds, tears still flowing from his eyes.

Jun bites the inside of his cheek. He's so overwhelmed with mixed emotions—of happiness at hearing those words, and sadness knowing why Sho feels that way—that he just wants to cry. Not in front of Sho though. For Sho, he can only smile.

"I love you too," Jun replies and kisses Sho passionately. "We'll get through this."

"Okay." Sho nods.

"Now, I believe it's time a certain graduate celebrates with his boyfriend that he's finally out of that hellhole called university."

Sho chuckles. "I don't know, Jun… I don't really feel like celebrating. I just want to go home."

"That works perfectly with the kind of celebration I have in mind." Jun smirks.

Once they get home, it only takes a couple of beers and a strategically placed hand on Sho's lap to persuade Sho to forget his worries for a while. The lady who lives next door doesn't seem too keen on their private party though. She bangs on Sho's apartment's door yelling profanities at the same time Sho pounds Jun's ass in the living room.

"You're moving out anyway," Jun says when Sho complains about it.

"Jun…"

"Don't you always say that the lady next door is a horrible person?" Jun folds his arms across his chest. "She's the one who leaves garbage bags in front of your door all the time and turns up the TV's volume when she watches straight porn in the middle of the day, isn't she?"

"Yes, but—"

"Then it's payback time."

 

21

That earns him a second round.

 

28

"And? What do you think?"

Jun looks at Sho over his shoulder. "It has a nice view. It's better than your previous apartment," he says. "Would have enjoyed it more if you didn't have me against the railing. It's too hot!"

Sho laughs. "I could bring a lounge chair out to the veranda if you want."

"In your dreams!" Jun replies. "I'm not doing it here again!"

"Why not?" Sho starts kissing Jun's neck. "Nobody can see us here."

"Sho…"

 

29

Self-control is definitely _not_ Jun's strong suit.

 

30

Read above.

 

31

Finally in Sho's new bedroom.

 

32

And his kitchen…

 

33

And the shower… (it's pretty big!)

 

34

It's finally Monday!

Breakfast, and then a quickie in the living room. Jun is totally rushing to class after this.

 

35

Maybe not.

 

48

After that housewarming weekend Jun spent at Sho's apartment, they haven't been able to meet more than once or twice a week. Sho's new job doesn't leave him much free time, and with the beginning of the new academic year, Jun has also been a lot busier. It isn't a problem for either of them, but Jun wishes there was a way to spend more time together.

That afternoon, Sho is waiting for him when classes end. Jun is so pleased about the surprise that he doesn't even say goodbye to his—very amused—friends.

With the money his grandparents left him, Sho bought the apartment where he's living, a car, and a beautiful skull ring that Jun had been eyeing for months—not that Jun had asked him to buy it, that was entirely Sho's idea. The rest of the money was divided between Sho's bank account and the safe he keeps in his room.

Sho is no longer so sad about what happened with his parents. He has met with his sister a few times without their father's knowledge, and he took both of his siblings to the aquarium not so long ago. It seems Sho's mother doesn't completely agree with her husband's decision to cut Sho out of their lives. She wasn't present during those outings though since she had to stay at home and cover for her children. She does send Sho a few bags of groceries every time Sho's sister goes to see him, as well as some homemade dishes packed in plastic containers with little notes attached to them.

Sho doesn't stop talking about his little brother on the way to the apartment. "He's playing rugby now," he says with a proud expression. "Did you know that I used to play rugby in elementary school too?"

Jun furrows his eyebrows. "Wasn't it soccer?"

"No, that was when I switched clubs in middle school," Sho replies. "Anyway, Shu is using my old ball during practice. I got him a new one, but he said that he still wants to use mine. Isn't he the cutest?"

The look of bliss on Sho's face as he continues talking about Shu makes Jun smile. If he ever meets Sho's mother, he'll definitely thank her for letting Sho continue seeing his beloved brother and sister. Those two, especially the little boy, mean the world to Sho.

"I want you to meet them one of these days," Sho said. "Mai is dying to meet you since I told her that I have a boyfriend."

"You told her?"

"Yeah. The whole family knows," Sho replies.

"Wait… you came out to them?" Jun's eyes widen. "Is that why your dad did what he did?"

Sho lowers his head. "To be fair, he had been looking for an excuse since I started wearing colored contact lenses in middle school," he says with a chuckle. "Old man and I have never agreed on many things."

"He's not being fair to you!"

"I knew what I was getting into the moment I decided to tell him," Sho says. "I didn't imagine he would do something this extreme, but I wasn't expecting him to take it well."

"Then why did you tell him?"

Sho sighs. "I was tired of pretending to be someone I'm not. Sooner or later he'd want me to get married and have children, I couldn't keep quiet about it! Besides, I'm in a relationship already. He had to know it."

"We had only been dating for a couple of months when you told him!"

"Yes, but I had a good feeling about it," Sho says. "I still do."

"You shouldn't have done it so soon!" Jun groans, burying his face in his hands. "We could have planned this together!"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No! I'm just…" Jun sighs. "Won't you regret it?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Despite Sho's confident response, Jun continues pondering over the matter. He is quiet during the rest of the ride, looking out of the window and trying to analyze his feelings about what Sho did. Would he do the same if he was in Sho's position?

Sho taps on Jun's shoulder when he finishes parking the car. "We're here."

"Ah, yes…" Jun nods.

They don't exchange any other words until they arrive at Sho's apartment. Once inside, Sho pulls Jun onto his lap and undresses him slowly. They haven't spent time together in private for a few weeks since they usually hang out with either Jun or Sho's friends and go separate ways afterwards.

Jun moans when Sho closes his lips around one of his nipples. He has missed that.

The preparation was too short, Jun realizes when Sho's first thrust hurts more than usual. They have stopped using condoms recently, once they were certain that neither of them had STDs. Jun prefers it this way, although it hardly ever makes up for the times Sho is too excited and doesn't stretch him enough.

"Slower!" Jun hisses. "Damn it, Sho!"

"I'm sorry!"

Jun whines when Sho pulls out. "Why did you stop?"

"I always rush things too much, don't I?" Sho bites his lower lip. Jun is sure that he isn't just talking about sex. "I never ask you if you're okay with it."

"I am," Jun replies. "If I wasn't, I'd tell you so."

"Still—"

Jun cups Sho's face with both hands. "It's alright," he says and pats Sho's cheek. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm still horny."

Sho laughs and resumes what they were doing.

They'll talk about that later.

 

54

Jun finally meets Sho's siblings when they come to Sho's apartment for lunch.

Those three look very alike. Mai is a very nice girl, and she doesn't seem to mind at all that her brother is gay. She takes every chance she can to tease him, telling Jun whatever embarrassing moments from Sho's childhood come to mind. She even shows Jun a few of baby Sho's pictures that she _happened_ to have with her, including one where Sho was running naked in his house's backyard.

Shu, on the other hand, doesn't notice that they are a couple until he goes inside the kitchen without warning and finds Sho and Jun kissing. The two of them panic, but Shu just giggles. Jun hears him chanting "Nii-chan and Jun-kun sitting in the tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" with a perfect English pronunciation on his way to the living room—apparently, an exchange student from America taught that song to him and his classmates.

They spend the whole afternoon talking and playing board games. The three siblings are quite competitive, but they end up losing to Jun, who has no idea of how he won. They demand a rematch and lose again. Jun decides to go back to the kitchen and make dinner, lest those three keep him there playing until midnight.

Sho's mother comes to pick Mai and Shu up around an hour later. Jun was nervous about meeting her, but she turned out to be more accepting than he imagined. "I hope these three didn't give you much trouble," she comments when she sees the Monopoly board on the table. "They can get quite passionate about that game."

Since Sho's father is currently in New York, she stays for dinner with them. Everyone praises Jun's cooking and eats happily. Shu makes the same faces his brother does when he's eating. It's like looking at a mini version of Sho, and Jun can't help smiling at the sight of the two brothers sitting side to side, reacting almost simultaneously to Jun's food.

When their visitors leave—after promising to visit again as soon as they could—Sho takes Jun to the bedroom and throws him on the bed.

Domesticity and aprons are a huge turn on for him, it seems.

 

75

It's their first anniversary. Jun can't believe that they have stayed together for a whole year.

They are lying on Sho's bed pressed against each other, still basking in their orgasm high, when Jun finally gathers the courage to say it.

"I want you to meet my parents. Let's spend the holidays with them."

 

76

Sharing a room without jumping each other is just not possible.

Jun's parents loved Sho. They already knew about Jun's orientation and supported him fully, so they weren't surprised at all when he showed up with his boyfriend in tow.

"You are the first guy he brings home," Jun's mother informed Sho. "Please don't break his heart," she added in a whisper that Jun wasn't supposed to listen—but he did.

His mother could say very embarrassing things sometimes.

Jun's father tried to play the 'scary father-in-law' role. That was until he and Sho started discussing European soccer teams. They were drinking beers and laughing together in front of the TV in no time.

The night had gone smoothly.

Except that now they are alone in Jun's room completely naked and trying not to make too much noise as they masturbate each other.

That Goku in the Dragon Ball poster right above Jun's bed seems to be judging them.

 

80

Jun spends the night at Sho's apartment. He accidentally leaves his favorite sweater and his notes for his Edo Period Literature class there.

He blames it all on Sho's idea to 'take a shower' together.

 

81

Jun retrieves his notes. His favorite t-shirt, the one he was wearing when he arrived an hour ago, is nowhere to be seen.

"Why don't you ever organize your room?" Jun smacks Sho's head and stands up from the bed. He whines slightly as he bends to pick up the clothes scattered on the floor.

His t-shirt isn't there. He can't even remember where he took it off.

He decides to go back to bed and take a nap next to Sho.

 

88

That scarf Jun thought he had lost turned out to be behind Sho's desk.

Also, Sho needs a new desk. This one isn't as sturdy as it seems.

 

91

Today in "Irrelevant Things Matsumoto Jun Thinks About When He's Trying Not To Come": The doorman already knows Jun's name. A few of Sho's neighbors greet him in the hallway whenever he visits. That old woman who owns a poodle calls him 'Jun-chan'.

Even after they are done, Jun can't stop thinking about it.

 

100

It's the sixth night in a row that Jun stays at Sho's apartment.

Surprisingly enough, he hasn't run out of clean clothes yet. All the textbooks he needed for his classes the past days were there as well.

"You should just move in," Sho tells him.

Jun thinks that's an excellent idea.

It has nothing to do with what Sho is doing with his mouth at the moment. _Nothing._

 

101

That sneaky Sho, making him say things when his mind is clouded with lust.

Even sneakier when he takes off his clothes while Jun is trying to reason with him about the whole 'moving in together' thing.

"What is my advantage if I start living h—"

Sho shuts Jun up with his cock.

Point taken.

 

102

Jun only had to pack a few things inside a duffel bag when he went back to his apartment. His ex-roommate was surprised to see him there. "I thought you had already finished moving in with your boyfriend!" he exclaimed when Jun came in. "I'm looking for a new roommate since three weeks ago!"

Jun's face turned red at the words. Sho, who was standing right next to him, looked like he was totally over the moon.

When they go back to _their_ apartment, Sho says "welcome home" to Jun.

It only really sinks in after that. They're living together. They've been dating for almost a year and a half, and now they're living together.

Things are getting serious between them, aren't they?

When Sho makes love to him that night, it feels different somehow.

It's exciting and terrifying at the same time.

 

110

Barely a month and a half after Jun moved in with Sho, they have their first fight.

Sho, also known as a disaster waiting to happen with household appliances at any moment, somehow managed to ruin some of Jun's clothes when he did the laundry. The washing machine wasn't spinning anymore either.

It isn't a big deal. Clothes can be replaced, and the building's janitor fixed the problem with their washing machine in only half an hour. Still, Jun feels so annoyed that he doesn't talk to Sho for the rest of the day.

"Jun…"

Ignoring the hand on his shoulder, Jun turns on his side and pretends to sleep. He doesn't know why he feels so pissed. Okay, no, he _knows_. Sho ruined those designer pants that Jun could only buy after four months of saving. And they were new!

"I'm sorry…"

Jun clenches his jaw as Sho's hand starts stroking his side. He can feel Sho's lips on his neck, moving against his skin. He's damned.

He turns around and pins Sho to the mattress.

Sho is very eager to gain Jun's forgiveness.

 

111

So eager…

 

112

Forgiven.

 

113

Sho buys Jun new pants a week later. They fit him like a glove.

That's what Sho keeps saying when they get back home and he makes Jun take the pants off.

 

120

Second anniversary.

Out of curiosity, Jun goes to a sex shop for the first time in his life. He walks around the shop with wide eyes. There are so many toys! Do people really use that kind of things during sex?

He is examining a black blindfold—soft material, very nice to the touch—when a short guy with spiky golden hair appears out of nowhere. "May I help you?" he asks.

"No, I'm… I'm fine…" Jun replies nervously.

The guy snatches away the blindfold from Jun's hands. "Great choice! This one comes as a set with a pair of handcuffs and a small whip," he says. Then he goes back to the counter and takes out a box, which contains the items he just mentioned. "I don't personally like the whip, but these handcuffs are great!"

"Ah, I don't think I'll… I mean, I was just taking a look around," Jun sputters.

The guy laughs. "First timer, huh? It's fine, everyone's like that when they first come here."

Jun's face reddens in embarrassment. "I see…"

"I tell you what, I'll give you a discount on the set, add these flavored lube sachets for free, and you come back here tomorrow and tell me if I was right," the guy says.

Jun can only nod dumbly and pay for the items with shaking hands. He takes the bag the things he just purchased, bows at the guy and hurries back home.

Once at home, Jun decides to examine the objects again. He probably won't have the guts to ask Sho to use them with him, but it can't hurt to check them.

The whip is something he won't be needing by now. For a moment, he has a mental image of himself whipping Sho's ass with it. "Not even in my dreams," he sighs and shoves the whip in the bag. The handcuffs are more comfortable than he expected. The inside is made of a different material, and it comes with three additional chains that have different lengths. As for the blindfold, it's just as comfy as he thought. He leaves it on and slumps on the couch to take a nap.

Minutes later, he hears the door open. There's the sound of padded footsteps, which stop right next to him. He's been caught.

"I can explain," he says.

Instead of replying, Sho takes something from the table. Jun wonders what it is until he feels the handcuffs closing around his left wrist with a click. "Stand up," Sho finally says. "Follow me."

"Where are we—"

"Don't talk," Sho interrupts him, his finger on Jun's lips. "Get in the room."

Jun feels confused about Sho's behavior, but he still obeys. He hears Sho closing the door behind him. He merely raises his arms when Sho pulls his sweater over his head. The confusion turns into excitement as Sho continues undressing him.

"Bed," Sho whispers in his ear. "On your back."

Once Jun is in position, Sho grabs his hands. Jun hears the chain rattling against the wooden headboard. Both of his wrists are tied now. Sho spreads Jun's legs with his hands.

"Poppin' Cherry?" Sho laughs. "Who picks the name for these lube flavors?" He tears open the sachet. "It says in the package that it's a 'warming' lubricant. Hmm… I think we've never used a warming lube before. Well, you tell me if you like it, okay?"

Three minutes in, Jun was screaming to the top of his lungs that yes, he liked it very much. Sho hates the artificial cherry flavor though.

 

128

"Oh, it's you!"

The sex shop's owner seems to remember Jun, even though it's been almost a month. Jun greets him with a smile and goes straight to the counter.

"Say… you remember the flavored lube sachets you gave me?" Jun asks.

The guy smirks. "I knew you'd like it! Did you come to get a bottle?"

"Yes," Jun replies. "Two bottles, actually, and flavorless, please. My boyfriend kept complaining about the taste."

"Got it!" The guy laughs. "Anything else?"

"That's all by now," Jun says with a grin. "No, wait! I think I'll need a pair of handcuffs."

"Any preferences?"

"You're the expert," Jun shrugs.

He goes back home with a second pair of leather handcuffs and two big bottles of lube.

He ties Sho by his hands and ankles to the bed that night as a birthday gift.

 

132

"Are you sure you can stay up this late?" Sho asks, his voice husky and low in Jun's ear. "It's your first day of work tomorrow."

Jun moans as Sho twists his nipple between his fingers. Sho has been touching and teasing him for nearly half an hour. His cock feels like it's about to burst. Wasn't it for the cock ring he purchased from Ohno's sex shop—on his fourth visit, he finally dared to ask the owner's name—he would have come long ago.

"I can," Jun replies.

Sho wraps his lips around Jun's cock. He swirls his tongue around the shaft, humming and moaning as his head bobs up and down. The tip of Jun's cock hits the back of Sho's throat, and Jun can't help thrusting forward, into the enticing heat of Sho's mouth. Sho allows him to do it, to fuck his face with abandon until he feels like he's going to explode.

"Sho, I need to come! Please, please…" Jun wails, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Sho takes pity of Jun and removes the cock ring. He kisses the head of Jun's cock and gasps in surprise when Jun comes all over his face. He licks the semen that got on his lips, giving Jun a smile. "So? Liked it?"

Jun pulls him down for a kiss.

 

150

Third anniversary.

They both are so tired from work that they end up simply rubbing against each other lazily for a while. Then they turn on their side and fall asleep.

 

151

It's been two months since the last time they had sex.

Jun barely sees Sho nowadays. Their schedules are so different that they can go on a couple of weeks without seeing each other more than once or twice a day despite sharing a bed every night. They never fight, but that's because they hardly ever speak.

Tonight Jun finally talks to Sho, tells him how dissatisfied he is with the lack of intimacy. They end up yelling at each other, until Sho slams Jun against the wall and starts kissing him. There's no tenderness in that kiss, just a mix of lust and anger that Jun can feel burning in his own chest. Sho dominates him completely, stealing the air from his lungs and the strength from his knees. 

Jun's pants pool at his feet. There are three missing buttons from his shirt, which he'll have to find tomorrow. Sho turns him around and fucks him with three slicked fingers. When he deems Jun is prepared enough, he buries himself balls deep inside Jun's hole.

It's not romantic. Sho is obviously furious, and so is Jun. And yet, Jun finds it so arousing. He lets Sho continue fucking him against the cold wall, moaning every time Sho's cock hits his prostate.

Maybe angry sex is exactly what they needed.

 

152

Another month.

Another argument that ends up with Jun against that wall, staying upright out of sheer willpower while Sho bangs him mercilessly.

 

153

Another month.

Seems they've established a pattern.

 

154

The pattern continues. This time Jun's bending over the kitchen table though.

 

160

Fourth anniversary.

Jun starts worrying when he realizes that he had been hoping that they would fight today so that they could end up having sex because otherwise, nothing would have happened.

 

168

It needs to stop.

Jun cries in silence, still cuffed to the headboard, while Sho takes a shower after their latest not-really-make-up sex.

 

170

Jun is leaving tomorrow.

That's what he tells himself when Sho fucks him after another argument.

 

171

They broke up.

"You never listen to me," Jun told Sho between sobs. "How long has it been since we really acted like a couple, Sho? How long since you did something nice for me? We don't even have sex anymore unless we fight!"

Sho only stared back at him with an indecipherable expression. He didn't say a word when Jun walked out of the door, taking his belongings with him. To be honest, Jun didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed. He was the one who wanted to break up, yet he had hoped that Sho would at least try to stop him.

"It means he doesn't care," Jun tells his friend. He's crying in a bar, and he'd normally be embarrassed, but Jun is too drunk to think about meaningless details like those.

The name of the friend who is accompanying him tonight is Aiba Masaki. They met back in their freshman year when they were roommates during a short time. He was the first person Jun contacted after breaking up with Sho.

Aiba is a very nice guy. He will let Jun stay at the apartment he shares with another guy until Jun finds a place of his own.

"There, there," Aiba pats Jun's back. "I'm sure you and Sho-chan can fix things—"

"No!" Jun snaps at him. "I don't want to fix things with that idiot! I'm free now, I have to enjoy it!"

Aiba sighs and watches Jun continue downing drink after drink.

At some point, Jun goes to the dance floor. There's a tall, foreign-looking guy who smiles at him in a seductive way. They dance together, and then Jun lets the guy drag him to the bathroom.

He's thinking of Sho while this dude fucks him in a bathroom stall.

He goes back to the table where Aiba is still waiting afterwards, without even bothering to exchange any words with the foreign guy. His legs are wobbly and he feels like shit, but he tries to pretend he's alright.

He wonders if he's fooling anyone.

 

172

After that incident at the club, Jun decided that he would stay away from places like those in the near future.

It actually worked for a few months. Aiba helped him a lot. Somehow just by being with Aiba, Jun cheered up. They went shopping together quite often and talked every night with a cup of tea. And whenever Aiba's elusive roommate Nino deigned to come out of his room, the three of them played video games together. Nino always won by a landslide, but it was fun nevertheless.

It surprised Jun to hear that Aiba and Nino were actually in an 'open' relationship. "It means we also see other people, J," Nino explained, rolling his eyes at Jun. Aiba smacked Nino's head and reminded Nino that Jun had only had one serious relationship during his entire life and that he was still "innocent and inexperienced, compared to them." Nino fought back, saying that Jun was an adult man, and that he should "already know those things."

Seeing them Jun could only think that if he and Sho had ever argued like that, then maybe they'd still be together.

Living with those two made Jun realize what it was that his relationship with Sho lacked, at least during the final year and a half: the little displays of affection that made him feel appreciated. Whenever Aiba waited up for him and asked about his day, or when Nino ate the food Jun brought to his room despite claiming that he's not hungry, Jun felt warm and happy.

He thought for a while that he was starting to forget.

Today he isn't so convinced anymore.

Ikuta Toma, Jun's old roommate, sent him a mail three days ago to ask if he wanted to meet with other of their university friends for drinks. Jun accepted without thinking it twice. He hasn't spent time with friends lately, aside from Nino and Aiba.

Jun is a little bit late. He can hear the cheerful chattering and singing inside the karaoke room. He opens the door and greets everyone with a smile. His expression falters when everyone in the room turns towards him with shocked faces.

What is going on?

"Hey, Jun…" Toma stands up and guides Jun to a seat. "We… we weren't sure if you'd come."

"Ugh, I'm so sorry. I had a meeting, and it lasted way more than I thought it would," Jun replies. "But here I am now! How have you been?"

"I'm fine," Toma says. "But what about you? Are you alright?"

"I am!" Jun grins. He frowns when Toma and the others keep giving him strange looks. "What?"

Toma sighs. "We know about Sakurai-senpai's wedding. You don't need to pretend."

Jun's face blanches. "What?"

"You didn't know?" someone else asks.

"N-No…" Jun lowers his head.

Great, now he _is_ sad.

The others tell Jun a few details: the bride is from Sho's parents' hometown, and has known Sho since they were children. They got married in a traditional ceremony yesterday. Sho invited many of his university friends to the reception, including two of the guys that are in the karaoke now. Sho's father seems to have reconciled with him thanks to his decision to marry a woman.

Jun pretends that it doesn't affect him at all, even though he's dying on the inside. He gets drunk and sings with the others. He even follows them to a stripper club afterwards.

Perhaps it's the frustration that makes Jun ask one of the girls to give him a lap dance. She has long, beautiful legs and pouty lips. Jun pulls her by the waist and asks her how much she would charge to let him fuck her. She writes the amount in his palm with her finger—it has more zeroes than Jun expected. He still accepts, and they meet in a room upstairs five minutes later.

Kiko—Jun supposes that's not her real name, but that's how she wants him to call her—is already waiting on the bed when Jun arrives. She undresses slowly, putting on a show for him. Jun only pulls down his pants before joining her on the bed.

Alcohol, frustration, and an overwhelming feeling of emptiness give Jun the courage to go on. He starts by fingering her. He knows nothing about female anatomy, so he just acts based on her reactions. She writhes under him, moaning in pleasure, although Jun can't tell if she's just faking it. She's getting very wet though, so maybe he's doing it right?

Deciding it's better to just get over with it, Jun strokes himself until he's hard and rolls a condom on his erection. Kiko grins and parts her pretty legs willingly for him. Jun pushes in, and she arches her back to take all of him. He pulls out and pushes in again, rolling his hips at a constant pace.

Images of Sho's face flash through Jun's mind. He tries to push them away, but he's unable to. As a consequence, he gets even more frustrated. He hopes Kiko won't be too sore because of him—he's bending her almost in half, thrusting deeper and harder every time. Kiko's long nails will probably leave marks all over his arms and back.

Jun flips her over and takes her from behind. This way he can pretend it's not her, even though it's obvious that this thin body doesn't belong to the only person he's thinking about in this moment. Not that said person is thinking about him, Jun reminds himself. Why is he so upset? He's the one who broke up with Sho anyway! Shouldn't he be indifferent then?

He's hurt. On top of it, he feels like the biggest hypocrite in the world: dumping someone and then getting mad because that person found someone else.

Maybe it's just that he's mad at Sho for taking so many steps back. Marrying a woman and making up with the man that disowned him? Really? It makes no sense—just like what Jun is doing at the moment. Jun tries to delude himself into believing that if Sho was dating another man, he wouldn't give a damn. The lie is so obvious that he wants to laugh at himself.

At some point, he finally comes. He stands up and throws the used condom in a trash bin. Kiko lies on the bed with a sated smile. "You're a beast," she tells him between giggles. "That was fantastic."

That was some praise he never expected to receive.

 

173

Kiko gives him a blowjob after that. Jun can't stop looking at her lips wrapped around his condom-covered shaft. They're full and pink, just like Sho's lips.

That's enough to get him aroused again.

Kiko rides him this time. Jun buries his face in her boobs. It feels so strange.

Jun leaves after paying for her services. Instead of going to the apartment, Jun pushes the button for the last floor and climbs to the rooftop.

He screams.

He feels so numb.

 

174

It's a Friday night.

Aiba isn't home. He's on a date tonight with a guy he calls 'Oh-chan'—one of his lovers. "They're probably going to eat chocolate cake from each other's bodies again," Nino tells Jun with a chuckle.

"They like that sort of thing?"

"It's actually kind of fun," Nino says. "I prefer whipped cream though. Chocolate leaves you feeling sticky afterwards. It's a nightmare."

"It sounds messy."

"It doesn't have to be if you do it well," Nino says. "Come on, I'll show you. I think we have some whipped cream in the kitchen."

By the moment they fall asleep, curled around each other in Nino's futon, Jun has to admit that it _is_ fun indeed.

Also that Nino possesses the most incredible tongue in the world.

 

175

Okay, no. _Aiba_ is definitely better than Nino with his tongue.

Jun never thought rimming could feel that good.

 

176

Aiba is teaching him his rimming technique.

Nino agrees reluctantly to help.

When Jun makes Nino come just by fucking his hole with his tongue, Aiba looks at him like a proud father.

 

177

Except that Aiba is not his father… which is perfect, because then it would be quite deviated to fuck him like this on the couch. Jun bites on Aiba's birthmark right when he's about to come.

Nino yells at them to keep it quiet because he needs to get some rest.

They just laugh.

 

185

Aiba convinces Jun to meet 'Oh-chan' some weeks later. "I'm sure you will like him!" he says.

They end up going to a familiar street and enter a sex shop that Jun knows too well.

"Matsumoto-kun!" Ohno greets Jun with a smile. "It's been a while!"

Aiba's 'Oh-chan' is the owner of the sex shop Jun frequented back when he was with Sho. It's been almost a year since the breakup, yet Jun's chest hurts when Ohno asks about his boyfriend.

"We broke up," Jun says. He's grateful that Ohno doesn't make any other questions about it.

They start trying to find a new dildo for Aiba. "I want a bigger one, Oh-chan!" he says. "Don't you have one of those that has cool lights?"

"Not right now," Ohno says. "But I have some with bumps, like the one you wanted me to try on you the other time."

"Good! Let's see it!" Aiba follows Ohno to another section of the shop, looking like a child excited about getting new toys. Jun follows them, out of curiosity.

The dildo display in Ohno's shop has a wide variety of models. Jun had always stayed away from it, feeling a bit intimidated. He never felt the need to use a dildo back then. When he masturbated, he simply used his hands.

It's different now though.

"Say, which one is the best?" Jun mumbles, more to himself than to the other two. "There are so many shapes and sizes… is there a significant difference between models?"

"Of course there is!" Ohno exclaims. "Each dildo provides a different kind of stimulation, depending on shape, size, thickness, and there are also the ones which have add-ons like vibrators, bumps, lights…"

Jun can barely follow Ohno's ramblings. "I see, I see," he says to stop him. "Which one would you recommend for a beginner?"

Ohno's face lights up. He takes a dildo from the second row. It is shaped like a normal penis, and it's not very large in size. "Better to start with the _basic_ ones," Ohno says.

"I'll take it," Jun says.

"You know how to use it, right?"

"I can figure it out."

Aiba and Ohno laugh. "Come with me. I'll show you how it works," Ohno says and guides him to the backroom after telling Aiba to take care of the shop for him.

Jun ends up lying on Ohno's sofa with his legs spread apart, watching how Ohno stretches him with expert fingers. Then Ohno applies lube on the dildo and pushes it inside Jun's hole. The thing has a tiny button, which he presses.

Now Jun wonders why he never got himself one of those before.

 

186

Jun tries the dildo at home by himself.

Nino comes inside the room without knocking on the door. "You're doing it wrong," he says with a laugh.

Then he shows Jun how it's done.

 

187

Jun finally did it right, or so tells him Aiba.

In any case, dildos are only fun for a while. Jun prefers actual dicks. Like Aiba's.

 

194

The guys invite Jun for drinks again.

They end up going to the same stripper club of the other time. Kiko is there. It seems that she talked about him with the other girls. They're looking in his way insistently, probably hoping that he'll take any of them upstairs tonight.

Just to go with the flow, Jun takes Kiko upstairs again.

 

200

Jun is buying some nipple clamps today. Aiba says he wants to try them, but Jun has his doubts.

Ohno offers to take Jun to the back room and show him how they are used. Jun accepts.

The clamps are a bit uncomfortable at first. When Ohno starts fucking him, however, he finally understands why people like them. The mix of pain and pleasure provided by the clamps is just delightful.

He can't wait to try them on Aiba.

 

201

Aiba whines too much.

 

202

Nino doesn't whine as much, but he swears to take revenge.

 

203

Nino takes revenge.

He even leaves the room without taking off the cock ring he slipped on Jun's dick.

"At least untie me, you imp!"

 

204

Jun will make sure that Nino can't sit tomorrow.

He succeeds.

 

220

Jun is at a restaurant with some co-workers. They're celebrating their supervisor's birthday. Alcohol keeps flowing, and soon all of them are more than a little bit tipsy.

At some point, Jun ends up making out with the supervisor's assistant. His name is Ryo, and he just started working with them two months ago. Jun had a feeling that Ryo checked him out sometimes, but he hadn't been able to confirm it. He supposes that having Ryo's tongue in his mouth means he was right.

They go to a love hotel nearby. The receptionist doesn't even blink when he sees Jun slipping a hand in the back of Ryo's pants, fingers already probing Ryo's entrance. They can't take their hands off each other in the elevator. By the time they get to the room, Jun is already shoving a second finger inside Ryo's asshole.

Ryo keeps giggling when Jun finishes undressing him. The guy is so drunk that Jun wonders if he'll remember a thing tomorrow.

It doesn't stop him from fucking Ryo's brains out that night.

He leaves after he's done.

 

225

Ryo _does_ remember that night.

He's thrilled to repeat it, with less alcohol this time.

 

240

A short break before a meeting.

The good thing about having a fuck buddy in the office is that they can always let off some steam together when things get too crazy.

"I told you not to touch my hair!" Jun whines when he looks at himself in the mirror after they come out of the bathroom stall.

Ryo laughs and pulls him for a kiss. "You can punish me later," he says with a wink before leaving.

Jun will remember those words.

 

241

Jun brings the paddle he just bought at Ohno's store with him when Ryo invites him over for dinner.

The word 'BITCH' is now marked all over Ryo's pretty ass.

 

242

"It's only fair if you let me use it on you now!" Ryo protests.

"In your dreams."

Jun flips Ryo over and fucks him again.

 

250

Holiday season is here. It means that it's been over two years since his breakup with Sho.

Against his better judgment, Jun rejects Aiba's offer to spend the holidays with him and Nino at Aiba's parents' house in Chiba and goes to visit his own parents.

Jun's mother asks about Sho. She is shocked to hear that they haven't been together for such a long time. Jun doesn't blame her; he hasn't talked to his parents much lately. His mood is completely ruined now though.

He goes out and finds a small bar not far from his parents' home. A guy comes up to him. They talk, they flirt, and then they head to a small love hotel.

Jun leaves after fucking him without even saying goodbye.

 

375

It's Jun's thirtieth birthday.

For the first time in his life, he's living on his own. He moved out a few weeks ago from Aiba and Nino's apartment. The two of them protested, saying that it wasn't necessary. "We love having you here, J!" Nino said. "If you go, who will make sure I stay healthy and that Aiba-shi doesn't burn down our apartment trying to do something weird in the kitchen?"

Jun can't say that he wasn't tempted to stay. He lived with them for almost five years. Five years! So much time has passed? It feels like it was just yesterday when he arrived at Aiba's doorstep with a couple of boxes, a suitcase, and his heart torn to shreds.

Many things have changed since then.

Jun got a promotion last year. He has his own office now, with a nice view of the city. The amount of paperwork he has to do has decreased since his subordinates get stuck with the annoying parts. He goes to a lot of meetings, and sometimes he even has to attend conferences in other cities. The most recent was a month ago in Kyoto.

During his free time, he likes going to the gym. His goal is to look super shredded one day, with big biceps and pectorals. He's already gaining more muscle, but he has a long way to go. He's changed his diet a lot. Nino and Aiba make fun of him for drinking those protein shakes, but Jun pays them no attention.

When he allows himself a 'break' from his diet and training—usually once a month—he goes out with his friends for dinner. He's cutting down on his alcohol intake since he doesn't want to gain fat. The guys often call him a killjoy for not getting as drunk as them when they meet. "If I wasn't sober, who would take care of your drunk asses and make sure you got home safely, eh?" Jun reminds them every time.

His love life is non-existent at the moment. He doesn't think that he could ever deal with being in a relationship again. He tried it once, with Ryo, and it didn't go well at all. He's starting to think that maybe he's just not the kind of person who was born to be monogamous. He enjoys being single. It can be lonely at times, especially during winter nights when he's craving for company the most, but it's pretty great. Plus, if he really needs to be with someone, he just calls Aiba or Nino—he'd call Ohno, but that guy doesn't ever talk unless it's about sex toys.

On the other hand, his sex life is great. He's had many one-night stands in the last couple of years—sixty-three, to be more exact. Not all of them were as memorable as the others, but he still counts each of them. He writes the date and the details in the journal he's been keeping since he lost his virginity to Sho, back when he was just twenty.

Only two people have seen that journal: Ohno and Nino. The former found it under his couch, where it had presumably fallen during one of their 'product sampling' sessions (Jun has become one of Ohno's VIP customers due to his frequent and pricey purchases), while the latter accidentally mistook it for a book Jun had promised to lend him. Both of them were quite intrigued by it. "That journal means nothing to me," Jun told them. "Seriously, I don't care about it."

It was a lie, obviously. Jun's attachment to that journal is deeper than he wants to admit. When he started it, he did it to remember that first night he spent with Sho. He hadn't imagined that the first one hundred and seventy times he had sex it would be with the same person. It's still his record, seeing that he's only had other four steady sexual partners during these years. Out of them, Jun has had sex more times with Ohno (forty), although that's probably due to his monthly visits to the shop. Ryo is a close second at thirty-five, thanks to their 'coffee breaks'. They haven't fucked since last year in July, when Ryo's ex-boyfriend moved to Tokyo. They're dating again, despite Ryo's constant bitching about the guy's annoying quirks. Nino and Aiba are almost tied, with thirty-one and thirty times respectively. The remaining three times were with Kiko, the pretty stripper. Jun hasn't seen her since the last time he went to that club almost three years ago.

Sometimes, when he's bored, Jun likes to read about his past sexual escapades. He laughs to himself reminiscing about that time he and Toma got so drunk that they did it at Toma's place, and they both screamed in horror when they woke up and realized what happened; or that time he did it with his high school buddy Shun after they went surfing, and a group of tourists almost caught them in the middle of it; or when he was trapped in an elevator with that trainee called Fumito and they decided to 'entertain themselves' while they waited for help, but they didn't remember that there was a security camera in the elevator—Jun hooked up with the guard who was on duty that day to ensure he wouldn't say anything about it.

He doesn't write more than a couple of lines about each encounter, three if it was particularly memorable. To amuse himself, he tries to make them rhyme or includes puns. It's different from his writing style back when he was in his early twenties. His entries used to be more detailed, spanning almost one page each. Jun tries to avoid reading them; he can't even take a peek at them without a bottle of alcohol by his side.

The journal still has a lot of pages left. He might need one decade or two to get to the final page. He wonders what his future self will think about this habit of his. Who knows, he might burn the damn thing when he turns forty, or even before. There are so many reminders of his past in there that he will probably want it gone someday.

Until then, he keeps writing in it.

Today it will probably be a longer entry. Jun calculates it could easily get to five lines or so.

Ohno will deliver the spanking bench he ordered as a birthday gift for himself in the afternoon.

He can't wait.

 

376

Ohno wants to spank Jun with the paddle.

Jun spanks him for suggesting it.

 

400

It's January. Sho's birthday, to be more exact. Jun hardly ever thinks about any date related to Sho, but this time it has a reason: he met Sakurai Mai today.

She has grown up a lot since the last time Jun saw her. She looks so adult, wearing a business suit and high heels. She all but sprints towards him as soon as their eyes meet.

"Jun-kun!" Mai hugs him tight. "It's been such a long time! You look so handsome!"

Jun laughs. "Glad you think so."

The two of them have to hurry inside the meeting room. Mai has come today as a representative of her family's company. They will be working on a joint project during the next few months. It means Jun and Mai will probably meet again soon.

Mai invites Jun to have lunch with her. Jun tries to make an excuse, but she's having none of it. He has to go with her.

"Nii-chan isn't doing well," Mai tells him when they're having dessert. They hadn't mentioned Sho's name up until that moment. "He doesn't want to tell me what's going on, but I know something's wrong. I hadn't seen him like this since you dumped—" she pauses and clears her throat. "I wish he trusted me more."

Jun frowns. "What do you mean? You guys are still close, right?"

Mai gives Jun a sad look. "Nii-chan hasn't been close with anyone for a few years now." She lets out a sigh and shakes her head slightly. "Anyway, how are you doing? You've only told me about your job!"

"There isn't much to tell about me." Jun chuckles. "My friends say that my career is my true love."

Mai giggles. "Then you haven't changed much! Six years ago you already were a workaholic."

Jun is surprised to hear that. He doesn't remember being that devoted to his job back then, at least not as much as he is now. "It wasn't _that_ extreme!"

"According to nii-chan, you spent more time at your office than he did," Mai comments. "He complained to me on the phone almost every day, saying that he could no longer plan any dates with you because of your schedule. He said that you canceled on him every time he tried to ask you out."

Jun blinks. He did that?

They start talking about something else after that, but the words don't leave Jun's mind for the rest of the day. Sho complained to his sister, but never told Jun that something bothered him? Why didn't he mention it? Or did he? Jun tried to remember any occasion in which Sho talked about how he felt about their relationship, but couldn't find any.

For the first time in years, Jun starts questioning how much of the blame for the way his relationship with Sho ended was on him. At first, he had convinced himself that it was all Sho's fault. Now he can't deny that some of the responsibility was his.

"Hey, J…" Nino pats Jun's cheek.

They were in the middle of testing Jun's new paddle—to see if it really left heart marks on people's butts. Jun had gotten so distracted with his thoughts that he had stopped.

"We don't have to do this now if you don't want to," Nino says.

"No, no! Let's continue!"

Nino puts an end to it when Jun drops the paddle for the second time.

 

410

Working with Mai was fun. Jun liked her but seeing her every week reminded him too much of Sho. He's glad that they have finally finished that project.

Mai didn't tell him to keep in touch. She probably knew that he wouldn't be too comfortable seeing her outside of work.

The balance returns to Jun's life.

He celebrates getting new butt plugs at Ohno's shop.

 

415

Jun feels weird having sex in front of a mirror. He can see all the faces he makes—and man, they are ugly!

Aiba is a mirror enthusiast. If it was up to him, he'd cover his room's walls entirely in mirrors. By now it's just the ceiling though.

Aiba's butt looks weird from the mirror's angle.

Jun doesn't know why people fuck him. His orgasm face is just horrible.

 

430

Another year passes by. It's January again. Sho's birthday.

Jun meets Sho for the first time in years at his favorite restaurant precisely today.

Sho looks different. He's a little bit chubbier than before—the extra weight suits him. His hair is shorter than Jun remembered, and it's dyed an even darker shade of brown. He's wearing a black suit, light purple shirt and a dark purple tie, not very different from the ones he wore when Jun was still with him.

When Sho smiles at him, Jun feels his cheeks reddening. He smiles back, trying not to think much of the way his heart is beating excitedly.

"Hey," Sho says.

Jun bites his lip. "Hey."

Their attention is called back to the restaurant's hostess when she clears her throat. "I'm sorry, sirs, but we are full at the moment. There's only a table for two left," the woman informs them.

"Oh… You can go ahead, Matsumoto-san," Sho says. "I'll wait for the next one."

Jun shakes his head. "We can share it," he says. Then he panics, remembering that Sho is no longer single and that maybe he's going to meet his wife today. It's his birthday after all. "U-Unless you're waiting for someone?" he adds nervously.

The corner of Sho's lips quirks up. "I'm not," he says. Then he turns to the hostess and says: "we'll take it."

Their table is quite far from the others, hidden in a corner of the restaurant—no wonder it's the only one left. A waiter takes their order and leaves them alone again. Sho is staring right at Jun, who can't help feeling somewhat intimidated. Jun is no longer the shy young man he was when they first met, but sitting across Sho he feels as though he was twenty again. The waiter returns with wine and their appetizers.

"Shall we make a toast?" Sho says, raising his glass.

Jun takes his glass and clinks it against Sho's. "Happy birthday," he says.

Sho's eyes go wide. "You remember my birthday?"

"Of course I do! How could I forget it?" Jun replies, sounding offended. He catches a hint of amusement in Sho's expression. "Any big plans for today?"

"My big plan was to have lunch here," Sho says with a little laugh. "I forgot to make a reservation though. Got too caught up in work."

"What about your family? Won't you spend time with them?"

Sho shakes his head. "They're busy," he says. "I'll see them another day."

"And your wife? Won't she be with you today?" Jun blurts out. Sho arches an eyebrow at him. "T-The guys said that you got married some years ago," Jun mumbles.

"They're right. I _did_ get married." Sho sighs. "My ex-wife filed for divorce a year and a half ago. She wanted children, and I couldn't give them to her because I'm infertile. She's married to another guy now. They're expecting twins."

"Oh…" Jun is at loss for words. Mai's worries about her brother make a lot more sense now. The news about his infertility must have been difficult to accept for Sho, especially after being abandoned by his wife because of it. Sho loves children, he probably wanted to have some. Jun wonders if he really took it as calmly as he wants to make it seem.

"We're still friends though," Sho continues. "We had always got along well when we were kids, so I'm glad we didn't part in bad terms."

Jun just nods and takes a sip of wine. "How was it? Being married, having a wife…"

"It was good," Sho replies, "but I think I wouldn't do it again."

"No?" Jun stares at him in surprise. "Why?"

"I don't think I'll ever meet someone who makes me want to commit again." Sho pauses as the waiter brings more food to their table. He digs in immediately and moans in delight at the taste. "Being in a relationship requires a lot of effort. I want to take my time to think about whether I want one or not. There's no pressure, especially not now that my parents know I won't be giving them grandchildren."

Sho laughs, but Jun can tell that he is disappointed about that. "I'll do my best to become a good uncle," Sho says. "Mai is getting married soon. Maybe in a year or two I'll have a nephew or a niece I can spoil rotten."

They continue talking about Sho's siblings. Shu is still playing rugby—Sho brags that his little brother is the team's _ace_ —and will graduate from university next year. Mai told Sho about the time she worked with Jun. "Those two still like you a lot," Sho says. Jun feels happy to hear that.

Despite making up with his father and no longer having that restraining order, Sho refused to be included in the family's will again. He continued working for the same firm and has recently been made a partner. He is living in the apartment that Jun had once shared with him.

"I had rented it out when I got married. After the divorce, my ex-wife kept the house we bought together and I had to pay spousal maintenance only for one month. Went a lot better than most cases I've heard of," Sho says. "Living alone hasn't been easy though."

"You still can't cook?" Jun smirks.

"No, but my microwaving skills are better than before."

They laugh and finish their meals between some good-hearted teasing. When the waiter brings them the bill, Jun gets up to pay it. "Let me treat you," Jun says when Sho complains. "It's your birthday after all."

Once they're outside, they say their goodbyes. They exchange business cards and go in opposite directions. Jun looks at Sho's retreating back for a moment and wonders if they'll meet again.

That night, when Aiba falls asleep next to him after they fucked, Jun takes Sho's card out of his wallet and stares at it. He sighs and puts it on the night table.

 

431

"Call him."

"Eh?"

Aiba rolls his eyes at him. "You've had that card with you the whole week," he says, getting out of bed to take a shower. "Nino told me that you keep looking at it all the time when you think no one's seeing you. Call him."

Jun sighs. "I just… I don't know, Aiba-chan." He rolls on the bed, groaning when he lands on a wet spot—Aiba promised to pay for the bottle of lube he accidentally crushed with his feet.

"Do it." Aiba throws Jun's phone on Jun's chest. "What do you have to lose?"

 

432

Jun is nervous. During the last three days, he has done nothing but thinking about what could happen today. It's his first date with Sho. Not that he told Sho it was a date, or that he's expecting anything to happen between them after this—although if it does, he will definitely _not_ complain.

"Almost there," Jun reads out loud the last message Sho sent him on LINE. They've been chatting since Jun called Sho three days ago. Jun sends a sticker in reply and puts his phone back in his pocket.

Five minutes later, the café's door opens. Sho's hair looks a bit disheveled as if he had been running—perhaps he had. "Sorry! Did I make you wait too long?"

"No," Jun says with a grin. "I already ordered something for you. I hope I remember what you like."

He does remember. He confirms it when Sho's face lights up at the sight of the blueberry topped cheesecake Jun ordered for him.

They talk for about two hours before deciding it's time to leave. Jun foots the bill again, ignoring Sho's protests. "Treat me to dinner next Friday, and we're even," Jun simply says. He panics for a second when Sho doesn't say anything.

"I'll see you on Friday then," Sho says with a smile.

Jun is over the moon when he gets home. He even lets Nino top this time.

"What's with you?" Nino asks, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Jun tilts his head in question. "What do you mean?"

"You're _happy_. That's weird," Nino replies.

Jun laughs.

Yes, he's happy. He can't believe it either.

 

446

It's Jun's birthday.

During the last few months, he and Sho have gotten closer. He already lost count of how many times they've gone out together. Jun keeps calling them 'dates' in his mind, despite it being pretty obvious that they're not dates at all. Sho doesn't seem to see it that way.

They're just friends.

Aiba insisted they had to celebrate Jun's birthday that year. He invited everyone Jun knows to a bar. Jun told Sho to come if he had time.

When Sho arrives, Jun is already drunk, making out with a guy he barely knows—whom he takes home with him that night.

In fact, Jun only finds out that Sho was there the next morning.

 

466

Jun's feelings for Sho have returned with a vengeance. He does his best to keep them hidden, to downplay them as much as possible to keep Sho around him.

"That doesn't make sense," Aiba tells him. "Wouldn't it be better if you just admitted that you're in love with him?"

"I can never do that," Jun sighs. "Not if I don't want to lose him."

"What if he leaves you because he thinks you're not interested?"

That's the question Jun asks himself every day when he wakes up next to someone different.

Counting the guy who just left before Aiba arrived, he's had twenty one-night stands in four months. It embarrasses him so much that he wishes he wasn't keeping a count.

 

471

Jun screwed up royally. He knows because Sho hasn't called him in almost a week.

Toma had invited Jun for drinks. As usual, the rest of their university friends joined. Sho called Jun at that moment, saying that he wanted to meet. Jun sent him the address of the bar and told him to come. After the call, Jun got in a really good mood. The others asked, of course, and Jun didn't hesitate to tell them everything.

"So you're back together? That's good news!" Toma said.

"Not really," Jun replied. "We're just friends."

"Just friends?" Toma laughed. "Come on, that can't be true! You _love_ Sakurai-kun!"

Jun panicked. Was he that obvious? "No, no, that's not… I don't love him!" he said. "I like him, that I sure do, but there's no love."

"Ah, is that so?"

Jun almost choked on his drink when he saw Sho standing behind him. "S-Sho-kun…"

To his surprise, Sho laughed. "Don't worry, it's the same for me," he said with a wink. He took a seat next to the others, and started drinking and chatting with everyone as if nothing had happened. He didn't look in Jun's direction even once though.

And now, he's not picking up Jun's calls.

"I told you, didn't I?" Aiba sighs, playing with Jun's hair as they sit side by side on Jun's couch.

"You did," Jun replies. "You told me, but I didn't listen. And I'm sorry."

He leaves after dinner and goes back to his apartment. He checks his phone every minute, feeling more frustrated every time. He almost doesn't see the man waiting for him at the building's entrance.

"Sho-kun?"

"Hello, Matsumoto-kun," Sho greets him with a grin on his face.

Jun moves without thinking and pulls Sho into a hug. His heart beats faster when Sho puts his arms around him. He had wanted Sho to hold him like that for so long, but he didn't think it would be possible, especially not after what he said.

"We should get inside," Sho says in Jun's ear. There's something in his tone that makes Jun shiver with anticipation—he hopes he's not misunderstanding.

The first thing Sho does after closing the door is shoving Jun against it to kiss him.

Jun didn't misunderstand it then.

"I've wanted to do this since the first time I saw you again," Sho whispers against Jun's lips. "You have no idea of how hard it's been to hold back all these months."

"I've been holding back too," Jun replies. "I didn't want to scare you off if I said—"

Sho kisses him again. Jun tangles his fingers in Sho's hair, moaning as Sho squeezes his ass. "I think we need to get to your room. Doing it standing is not so easy for me anymore," Sho says.

Jun laughs. "You're getting old."

They hold hands all the way there. Their fingers remain intertwined as Sho makes love to Jun, slowly and tenderly as if it was their first time.

 

472

"You removed it," Jun says, poking Sho's belly button.

"My ex-wife didn't like it," Sho mumbles. He swats Jun's hands away between giggles. "Don't you remember what I told you about poking people's belly buttons?"

Jun rolls his eyes at him. "I want the piercing back. It's hot."

"It might be too late. I think it's already closed, and re-opening it would be painful."

"But you already did it once! It can't be too different from the first one, can it?"

Sho winces. "I don't want to go through that again! I don't know what I was thinking when I got that piercing."

"Please?" Jun gives Sho his best puppy eyes, hoping he still knows how to do that. Sho bursts out laughing and kisses him.

"Convince me," Sho says.

Jun thinks he knows exactly how to do that.

Five minutes in and Sho is screaming that yes, he will do anything Jun wants. "Now could you stop teasing me and fuck me for real?"

Jun reaches for a condom and smiles at Sho.

Sweet victory.

 

473

Jun thinks there should be a limit to how many times he can screw up in the span of a week. This one might be even worse than what he did at the bar. His journal is not on the desk, where he left it the last time he used it. Sho is nowhere to be seen. With his heart in his throat, he heads outside.

Sho is sitting on the couch, wearing Jun's favorite sweatpants and a tank top. He's sipping a cup of coffee and reading a book.

Not a book.

Sho is reading Jun's journal.

Alarms go off in Jun's mind. He starts sweating cold and leans against the wall for support. Just when he thought things would be fine, this had to happen. Now Sho will not want to be with him.

Sho bursts out laughing.

"Oh my god, you did it in a family restaurant?" Sho shakes his head in disapproval. "That's nasty, Jun. People go to eat at those places, you know? They take their kids there!"

There's the sound of rustling pages. "Here! Here!" Sho taps on a section and shows it to Jun. "This, my dear Jun, is _illegal_. You really like to live dangerously, don't you?"

"I..."

"And that thing over there," Sho points to the spanking bench that is right in front of the window. "I was wondering why a table had a cushion on the top part, but that is no ordinary table, is it?"

Jun lowers his head. "It isn't," he says in a small voice.

"Four hundred seventy," Sho says. "You've kept a count since your first time."

It's not a question. Sho is merely stating the facts. "Four hundred seventy-two," Jun corrects him. "I haven't written about last night."

"Do it now," Sho says. He hands Jun the journal and a pen before going back to the bedroom—presumably to put on his clothes and leave.

Heaving a sigh, Jun uncaps the pen and starts writing. He wants to keep it short, as usual, but he just can't. He needs the details, especially if Sho is going to be out of his life after this. He's almost crying. Why did he have to leave the journal there?

"Are you done?"

Jun looks up and finds Sho standing next to him. He's still wearing the same clothes, and his hands are hidden behind his back. "You didn't change your clothes?"

Without replying, Sho snatches the journal away from Jun's hands. His face reddens as he reads, a sheepish smile curving his lips. "It's long," he comments. "Why is it so detailed this time?"

"I... I want to remember it well..." Jun stutters. "When you leave, that's all I will have."

Sho frowns. "When I leave?"

"Yes," Jun nods. There's a lump in his throat.

"Why would I leave?"

"Y-You read my journal."

"I did. So?" Sho shrugs.

"You don't think it's weird?"

"Oh, I think weird doesn't start to describe this!" Sho laughs. "But I'm okay with that."

Jun's eyes widen in surprise. "You don't mind?"

"Not at all," Sho says. "If you could put up with my snoring before, I think I can deal with this. Unless you have any other habits that I should know about?"

"I talk to my household appliances," Jun blurts out. "And I got a bonsai this year. I also talk to him."

"Anything else?"

"Off the top of my head, I'd say that's about it."

Sho hums. "How about your collection of spanking paddles?" He waves one in front of Jun's face with a grin. "I didn't check the other stuff, but you seem to have a thing for sex toys."

Jun blushes. "T-That's... that's not..."

"Based on what I've read in this journal, I'd say you deserve a good spanking," Sho continues. "Your infringements to the law and complete disregard for moral codes are unacceptable."

There's a mischievous glint in Sho's eyes, one that Jun remembers all too well even after being separated for years. "You want to punish me?"

"I don't want to! You just leave me with no other choice," Sho says in a serious tone.

Jun lets out an exaggerated sigh. "Fine…" He shimmies out of his underwear and gets on the spanking bench, sticking out his butt.

Sho stands behind him. Instead of the paddle, what comes in contact with Jun's skin is Sho's open palm. Jun moans noisily. Sho spanks him one, two, three, four more times before pausing for a moment.

"What's wrong?" Jun asks, looking over his shoulder.

Sho looks flustered. "I can't concentrate when you're making those sounds!"

Jun laughs until his stomach hurts.

Sho spanks him harder afterwards.

 

480

"I'm sorry J, but I think we have to be just friends from now on."

Jun blinks. Nino, Aiba, and Ohno have shown up for no reason at his apartment to tell him that. He hasn't slept with them lately, so he wonders why this is happening.

Then the door opens.

"Oh… I didn't know you had company, Jun," Sho says. He pulls Jun by his waist and gives him an open-mouthed kiss. He's being extra noisy, and one of his hands is squeezing Jun's butt.

Nino clears his throat. "Uh, J… I think we'll get going now," he says.

Jun is still a bit light-headed after the kiss. Sho's hand is still in the same spot. "Eh? But you just got—"

"See you later, guys!" Sho says with a wide grin. He keeps staring at the three of them until they close the door behind them.

Jun narrows his eyes at Sho. "Did you tell them anything?"

Sho bites his lip. "Maybe."

"That was bad, Sho-kun. Telling my friends things behind my back…" Jun wraps his arms around Sho's neck.

"You can punish me if you want." Sho winks at him.

Jun pulls Sho by his tie and drags him to the room. He won't let that opportunity pass.

 

495

It's the third time Jun spends the night at Sho's apartment. They're cuddling after spending most of the evening in Sho's new hot tub.

Jun caresses Sho's chest. "I've been wanting to ask you… why did you get married?"

Sho sighs and turns on his side with his back facing Jun. "I don't want to talk about it, Jun."

"Tell me." Jun kisses Sho's shoulders. "Please?"

There's a moment of silence. "I felt lonely, okay? I couldn't deal with it when you left me." Sho sighs. "I heard from my mom that there was this friend of mine who was trying to get an omiai. I went to see her, and then the rest was easy."

Jun hugs Sho from behind. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Sho says. "You were right to break up with me. I was a terrible boyfriend."

"You were not—"

"I know I was!" Sho cuts him off. "I still can't believe you want to be with me now."

"Well, I do," Jun says.

Sho looks at him over his shoulder. "Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Then…" Sho bites his lip. "If I asked you to move in with me, what would you say?"

 

500

After considering it for a while, Jun finally accepted to move in with Sho again. He isn't sure whether it will work out or not. Deep inside, he's afraid things will go the same way they did the first time.

Sho starts snoring next to him. He's splayed on the bed, the white sheets barely covering his naked body. Jun stares at him and sighs happily.

It's worth a try.


End file.
